ILLESISTIBLE

what I cooked for lunch last week (:

2011-04-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

a simple pepperoncini spaghetti with lots and lots of parsley leaves, red pepper flakes, and garlic.

oh yum yum in my tum tum. food coma all day err'day!

i've got the munchies... the JAPANESE MUNCHIES FIX!!

2011-04-15T18:19:00.000-07:00

delicious dinner consisting of yakitori, agedashi tofu, FRIED OCTOPUS (MY FAVORITE!!), takoyaki (yes, I consumed lots and lots of octopus that night. don't hate!) and many other delicious Japanese tapas.

then ended the night with the amazing strawberry cheesecake crape from GENKI CRAPE.

ah. best.day.EVER!

mama knows the best!

2011-04-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

right when I was complaining about not having anything to eat at home.. MAMA TO THE RESCUEE :)

best package i've ever received in a LONG time (: thanks, mama.

Brunch is my favorite meal (:

2011-04-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Best part about waking up early on Sunday = SUNDAY BRUNCH!

I def want to explore all the amazing brunch/breakfast places all over OC :)

Las Vegas Trip! A weekend NOT to remember.

2011-04-05T00:21:00.000-07:00

we all hopped into melanie's mama van :)

told you i'm a certified FOB!

our bathroom before the girls invasion

& the party begins....

UGLY FACE PICTURE

all girls pic (:

the party crew

here's a perfect way to end the crazy weekend. M RESORT BUFFET!!!

fat jappies

i've got the biggest sweet tooth..

looking at these pictures makes me wanna go back to vegas ):
suffering from the biggest Vegas withdrawal ever!! >< take me baccckk

can't focus in my class because all i'm thinking about is...

2011-03-31T16:31:00.001-07:00

I plan on taking my alphie (my beloved camera, btw) out on this trip with me so check back on Monday for a sneak peak into the wild weekend that I'm about to have... :))

GO BIG OR GO HOME!

I got my hands up, they're playin my song I know I'm gonna be ok Yeah, It's a party in the US

2011-03-31T16:05:00.000-07:00

Venetia Bella Suite

My favorite biiitches

Lots of lots of pimp juice & unforgettable memories that I will NOT remember.

LET'S DO THIS!

So this is my habitat for the next 2 months..

2011-03-29T00:34:00.000-07:00

Vista del Campo Norte Building 285
Come visit me, please.

welcome !

a nice clean kitchen. barely used.

MY ROOM! check out my zebra print bedsheets from TARGET. way legit.

bathroom. so big.

my roommate's view.

COME VISIT ME and I will feed you some delicious Special K cereal, Japanese candies, and an apple!! (For Limited Time Only)

SUNDAY - perfect day to grab delicious lunch with friends!!

2011-03-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

lunch date ft. taco & henry aka jagaimo :) good friends since 2008!!

these are my friends henry and taco.

and this is my BEST friend, GYRO SANDWICH & HUMMUS ON THE SIDE!!!! <- loser.

& I grab my best friend like this and shove it in my mouth! (oooOooOO that's what she said!!)

best kinds of caramel is made by MEIJI!

cheeeeeeese!

posing with our japanese goodies.

always nice to catch up with old friends over delicious food! a nice day, indeed!

Q. what do you do when the shower curtain you brought from Japan is too short and you don't have enough money to buy a new set of curtains

2011-03-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

A. You bribe your engineering major friend to help you solve the problem with Japanese candies and goodies.

this is my engineering friend, Melanie.

TADA!!!!! amazing job, melmo!

the end.

From the bay to LA!

2011-03-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

Cruisin' down the street in my 64, jockin a bitch, jockin a bitch

o hello there toothbrush.

parkie let us stay over at his place :) thanks!!

only good thing about Irvine, California is the weather and the beaches. Other than that, it still is as sucky as it used to be.

why it's so hard to leave the bay..

2011-03-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

delicious food & delicious coffee!

1. seafood paella by taco's mother

2. sauteed eggplant by taco's mother

3. sukiyaki partay @ taco's

4. chai latte @ barefood coffee

5. a-a-a-a-a-ahh-ah i'm chillin'!

First day back in AMERICA!

2011-03-23T22:34:00.000-07:00

after a hectic flight from narita to SFO, my tired-ass was rescued by a box of amazing macaroons from Pamplemousse, a nice big bowl of pho noodles from Pho Wagon, and a scenic drive over to Santana Row.

Thanks :)

Fantasia in Santana Row

2011-03-23T00:49:00.000-07:00

not so bombdiggidy, but a nice spot to relax on a cold afternoon.

my hot almond tea tasted like powered milk :( or maybe I've just been spoiled by the super authentic milk tea that I had a couple weeks ago in Taiwan. Oh, how I miss Asia and its cheap bomb PMTs.

Miss (wannabe) Independent

2011-03-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes I like to prepare myself some bombdiggidy fancy lunch and read the newspaper. YEAUP.

2010-03-08T23:35:00.000-08:00

Life

to me, is a blank canvas.

We, as people, begin as primary colors and as our lives progress, we mix with others and become something different.

Then we move on to another, and another, and another until we finally create something beautiful.

Because that's what life is.

It's beautiful.

Don't stress that 'cause it's not in your bloodstream

2010-01-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

I know I've stated here before that I only blog when I'm sad... Scraaatch that, cuz I'm blogging when I'm feeling like P-Didday yee!

It's funny.. Sometimes you create such a strong mental picture in your head that when it comes to it, it's not what you sought it to be.. But then you realize that, it's not about that. I think it's the thrill of having imaginations that allows you to sort of get away every few minutes when you're in a tedious situation.

Maybe a breather for the mind? Cause I know it feels damn good to think about things sometimes.. even though it's not really how things turn out most of the time. But if it was, then really, where's the excitement in that. You can always be looking forward to something right?

Next Destination: Tokyo, Japan.
back to square one.... or not

Nobody Knows - dare mo shiranai

2010-01-18T11:10:00.000-08:00

bittersweet? poignant? moving?

yet utterly disturbing.

a list of random realization of self

2010-01-10T23:42:00.000-08:00

I don't "really" blog when I'm happy.
Normal = Boring. Arika = Not normal. Therefore, Arika = Not Boring
I was reminded why I never want to eat out at an American restaurant. It's because of the endless burping that lasts til the AM due to overeating. (I know, yuck!)
I've met a couple 'seemingly cool' people in the past couple years that I really would like to get to know; except I lack the confidence to do so.
I realized that it is very possible to be cocky and unconfident at the same time.
I enjoy surrounding myself with AB blood-type people.
My only source of motivation is my mother's daily emails.
I like ugly things, a lot.
I only 'hate' things that 'hate' me. I absolutely hate Irvine because Irvine hates me too, a lot.
This is one of the rare occasions that I'm blogging when I'm genuinely happy. Thank you for such an amazing day. you know who you areeee.. YEeeeEh

New Outlook for the New Year: 2010!

2010-01-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. - Groucho Marx

faux-lomography

2009-12-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

too bad I'm too poor to buy myself a lomo camera and films.. lightroom will do magic for my photos for now.

The Emcee.

2009-12-18T13:00:00.000-08:00

At some point, everybody plays the fool and this time it was me. I fell for the tight rhymes, the ill lines, the peaceful grace, the musical taste, and the smile that I brought to his face. At first, he wanted me like his favorite pen; to every syllable in my mind and body, he’d pay attention. Reciting verse after verse that we were perfection. We’d talk about life, poems, rhymes and spending together’s studio time. Wanted to drink the other in until our intoxication became the new crime. I was positive this was my hit song and he went to the top of my chart; feelings grew, never apart, dynamic duo like Noah’s arch, even considered taking the mic cord and tieing the knot. His presence in my life was impossible to not notice; he became my music, as I moved to him naturally like a head nod…

- Mayda Del Valle

sparkle sparkle glitters. so pretts.

2009-12-17T15:58:00.000-08:00

hmmmm. what to wear tonight ?!

leather in the summer, silk in the winter

2009-12-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

brr brr brr.
this cold weather makes me want to stay home all day and read this.

best photo book EVER. thank you stubs, and newpeoplestore.com :)

It's just a fly love song...

2009-12-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

this is super cute.

I've got a date this thursday :) gonna watch 40Love live at mazu lounge in SF!
super stoked.... this is definitely MY kind of date :]

"Say hi to forever," RIP Daul Kim.

2009-12-07T21:03:00.000-08:00

I absolutely adored her for her dorkiness & effortless beauty.. she definitely had a lot going on for a 20 year old ASIAN model, and I was really saddened by this news. RIP: Daul Kim, say hi to heaven for me.

----

"grow steadily and flow readily, those who grow up too fast spoil too easily."

next time you whine about how you think you're old enough to do something, realize that you may not even be close. too many people are so eager to grow up that they're blind to the fact that some people haven't exact grown up just yet. we've got all the time in the world, so what's the hurry about?

finals..

finals week.

2009-12-06T02:10:00.001-08:00

Bad habits for me make good habits because they take away the stress that'd allow me to BE stressed. it may not make a whole lot of sense, but if I didn't have my hideaways and getaways from the real problems at hand, I'd probably be more in the moment and see things as they are..

procrastination at its best.

2009-12-04T00:40:00.000-08:00

for lack of a better word.. I'm doing "grand."

for some odd reason, I should be stressed up in the ass but I'm not. Finals next week, hella work next week, deadlines to meet due to dummyhead teachers assigning random shits before finals.. but I feel like a million bucks! Wait, no, I feel like 100 GRAND because that word suites the theme and chocolate suites everyday :)

I'll be shooting the breeze next week while rest of the class weeps, hopefully. I'm sorry dummies, leave no room to stress! :]

I'm def delirious yo, but I hope your life is just as beautiful as mine "seems". carpe diem!

for the antique freaks

2009-11-27T12:09:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon some of the never-uploaded goodies from last summer - pictures from City of Fremont - Nile's Antique Fair. I absolutely had no interest whatsoever in antiques until I attended this - thanks to my mommy. pictures came out pretty neat, so please enjoy :)

Although utterly creepy-looking, Pete is currently worth more than $600.

biggest sausages just chillin' & grillin'

I want this. I'm serious.

hi grandpa.

Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf. Or even a dirty box full of antiques hiding somewhere in your garage, accumulating dust just waiting to be noticed.

OH YEAH.

I made a new food blog. Please check me out :)
OH-NOMNOM.BLOGSPOT.COM

Need VS. Want

2009-11-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

I was taught to only buy the things you need, not want. Because what you want, isn’t necessarily what you need, therefore it becomes unnecessary. What happens though, when someone you want becomes someone you needed? Would that be true? Could we truly "need" someone? Or is it all tangled up in a web of lust and desires. Maybe, we want it so much that we mistaken it for need.

Or maybe, things we need aren’t what we want, because we felt as though what we wanted is more desirable than what we need.

Just a thought.

Time.

2009-10-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

Not enough time can cause a relationship to fall apart, sometimes too much time makes you feel crowded and you just want to scream for some ‘me’ time, personal space. I don’t see that as any threat, seeing each other ‘too much.’ The real threat is seeing each other ‘too little.’ It’s the feeling of neglect, wondering if that person still cares. It takes sacrifice. Time can be filled with long phone calls, short calls just to checkup, or going out together.

it's the simple things ..

comfort zone.

2009-09-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

I learned that you shouldn’t get too comfortable with anything, anyone, or any idea. There comes a point where you have what’s called “the usual”, “the girls”, or “the regulars”, as certain groups that you hang out with. Then there comes a time where “the usual” becomes “the no-longer there”. “The girls” becomes “Those girls”. “The regulars” becomes “The distant strangers” who ignore you when you pass them on the streets, because the time and growth have apparently damaged the ability to talk face to face without the awkwardness. I don’t have labels for those I hang out with. They are friends, close friends, and nothing more. I rather not give anyone the opportunity of permanence if no one is going to stick around long enough, anyway. Maybe it means I’m being a pansy, but no one said it was wrong to be cautious.

I grew up in the bay so I'm down to earth, but I live in LA that means I'm down to work

2009-08-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

pics from my socal trip

my socal always begins here.. WESTMINSTER!

I know every living soul has thought of this before. At some point in our lives, we all wanted to run away and never look back. It’s much easier said than done, I guarantee you. Think about it. What will you be leaving behind? Who will you believing behind? And if you had nothing, where would you go? If life allowed you easy exit access, then we probably wouldn’t have struggles, right? Now, I have responsibilities and my conscious stops be before I can even process the thought of running away.

There is no escape. Face it, and move on.

Waiting to be noticed.

2009-08-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this randomly;

We grew up believing we were princesses. Little girls with loving daddies and protective brothers were taught that they were something special and rare. Our mothers told us that all we needed was our education and after obtaining each degree, we’d be able to pick from larger and more successful pools of men. We’ve grown up only to discover that this isn’t so.

In reality, guys have the upper hand. The ability to choose any woman they want. It doesn’t take much at all. Population-wise, females outnumber males. For every guy there are at least 10 girls who want him. Some of you didn’t know, half of you are well aware of that and the rest of you have a stampede of women chasing you day after day.

I never wanted to be a normal girl. Normal girls thirst for love and attention. Normal girls daydream ten years into the future upon meeting someone new. Normal girls fill out girlfriend applications for people who live miles and miles away because they believe that “magic” knows no boundaries.

You can’t be his girlfriend UNTIL HE ASKS you to be. You cant be his wife UNTIL HE ASKS you to marry him.

So, the question is: Are we all just waiting to be loved? Waiting to be the girlfriend…. waiting to someday be the wife? Waiting to be noticed?

We all have to wait however, it’s about what you do while you wait. Are you doing things to make yourself happy? Then the wait is worth it because you’re learning about yourself and self-appreciation is crucial if you want to be happy with a man (or whomever). Everyone is in line, take a number and do something productive while you’re waiting. And technically, you’re not waiting if you’re living life in this “invisible line”.

Point is, don’t revolve your life around this wait and just, be.

Heh. Why can’t you date him unless he asks? Why can’t you marry him unless he asks? Who made it a profound law that women aren’t supposed to ask a guy out, or get on their knees to ask him to be her husband? I mean, I wouldn’t get on my knees. On the contrary, I don’t mind being the person who asks someone out. Waiting around is time that is wasted. Don’t you think? Patience was never really one of my virtues. Want something? Go after it. He won’t notice you? Move on and find someone who would.

"I wish i could photoshop all our bad memories"

2009-08-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

SF.. you the best I've ever had.. best I've ever had...

----

utada's new song "Come Back To Me" has been on repeat for days.. at some point of the song, her voice reminds me of mariah carey.. can she be the new Japanese mariah carey? i very much think so.

but the real question is.. who is the sexy beast in this music video? I'm starting to get really really attracted to south american / middle eastern guys again.... they got the sexy look that asians just don't have. I think this all started when Drake became real big. I guess for now, I'll say goodbye to asians.. we're still the superior race though.

finals drive me b-a-n-a-n-a!

2009-08-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

americano + banana cake/bread from jin's bakery + pen i jacked from work = intense cram sesh for philosophy. that banana thing is soooo delicious :)

o yah. new hair :) first thing i did when i got my paycheck!

i know... i'm hella gay. can't believe i just took a photo of myself like a myspace whore.. SHAME!

this was just an quick iphone update :) buh byes!

Lately.

2009-08-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

- wake up at 6 am
- class til 10 am
- work til 7 pm
- wash stinky feet
- chill with deepfriend twinkie til whenever
- pass out, repeat

You can’t just sit around and wait for change.
You can’t just sit around and hope that you’re going to blossom into something else.

Get with it, and get'er done.

so... my feet stink

2009-07-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

always, after work.

can't do nuttin' when ur feet be stankin so ill update this isshh laters

For what it's worth

2009-07-13T00:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, life takes a toll on us. Directions shift, and so do our hearts. Sometimes, the only time it feels right, is when it does not make any sense, whatsoever. We’re this one day, and something else on another. Sometimes, you feel invincible, as though you can’t be touched — but something or someone, shoves you down. Sometimes, you feel as though you’ve hit rock bottom, and God forbid, alone.

But for what it’s worth, I’m still here, and I'm content with the choices I've made for myself this past few weeks.

I'm too selfish undercover;

2009-07-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

japanese bed rock spa

2009-06-30T17:28:00.000-07:00

So I recently heard about this place from my mom and it might just be exactly what I need = complete detox time.

after i get my first paycheck... (i'm officially employed now! super duper excited) a must-visit :)

San Freezy Zoo

2009-06-23T11:27:00.001-07:00

ended my happy fun-animal-filled day with the infamous "eggettes" in Sunset District

sooo delicious. yay for hongkong-nese chocolate "eggette" waffles :)

The best things in your life need no searching. Sometimes you just have everything you needed, but never realized it.

alphie.

2009-06-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

When you meet someone, millions of things can happen after that moment. Whether or not they become a pillar in your life or just someone you met once, or they stay in your life for years on end or just for a moment, sometimes the factors don’t matter.

It can take a lifetime of memories, or even just a split second glance as you walked by them on the street.

Whether or not you ever knew them, sometimes you just don’t forget someone.

summer = self-improvement

2009-06-16T18:27:00.001-07:00

Goals;
- Lose 10lbs
- Lose 10lbs
- Learn how to swim
- Learn how to cook better
- Read the newspaper err' morning :)
- Lose 10lbs
- Lose 10lbs

Reading List;
(Currently Reading) -Water For Elephant
-Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
-Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Foer
-Curious Incident of Dog in Nighttime by Mark Haddon
-Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman
-Secret Lives of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

time is money & money is time.

2009-06-16T18:07:00.000-07:00

areezy f baby be back in the bay = time to stir up some trouble!

before i begin... I've got a question for y'all!
guess what this is.. :)

*hmmm*
"is that a freaking bomb?" "no wait.. kinda looks like a condom.."

Answer:

JAPANESE ICE CREAM! you suck on it to taste the yummies! only japanese people WOULD come up with such a thing.. I wouldn't be surprised if the container actually can be used as a condom for little japanese people.... oh my

another perk of being japanese = bombass diggity food.

As I sat outside on my balcony to watch the sunrise at 6AM... I have come to realize that my life runs of a bad timing. you know what they say.. "patience is a virtue", or "good things come to those who wait." Yet, don't others also argue that if you want something, you go out there and pursue it? So..... if we want something, are we supposed to constantly work towards it or do we wait in the meantime because it's not time yet? But don't we always find ourselves running out of time? Isn't time enemy? We cannot wait for the perfect condition forever because then we'd spend our entire life waiting, but the irony is that harder we look for something, it seems to evade us even more..

well.. if life depends on timing, when is it right to take action or inaction? how do you know when to strike when the iron's hot? how do you know when you're supposed to wait a little longer?

*ponder time*

I guess afterall... I believe that there's a timing for everything. I just haven't figured out how it works or why it happens..

love found and lost in this box.

2009-06-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

------
our scarlet liquid pumps divided by multiple question
here the shadows lay in symbols of confused confession
who's to say that passion equivelates to unboundedness
the number eight tipped over to its side is limitless
stale like a bike missing a wheel unable to ride
the image presented tells only half only its side
only hands can tell where unexplainable dimensions lay
but not the hands that told me what time it was today
the sense of a thousand swords by my crimson interior
its noticed by my brain casket showing to be inferior
this moment in time what is there for me to execute
a hypothesis that will release me from my birthday suit
inhaling this atmosphere deep into my lungs like cancer
finding within ones self eyes to the sky a fallen answer
take 1st place in this race to the source of blood
fertilize the core with my passion and create a flood
a seat i desire at the peak of this mountain i try to climb
there at the top, i will wallow for i preserved my absent dime

still searchin' for the meanings.

mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

2009-06-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

honestly, the word "mistake" has seriously been the word that I've loathed the most. I ALWAYS make the stupidest mistakes. so many people tell me, "don't be so hard on yourself" but it's human nature to dwell on the past, right? in every single aspect of my life, I've made some stupid mistakes and they aren't the ones that are put on billboards, not the whole dropped outta school kind of thing, but the ones that trip me up little by little. they get to my head, phase me. it's frustrating. maybe I am too hard on myself, but it just seems necessary. and it sucks more that I know I've made the particular mistake right after I do it.

"I don't want you to be so hard on yourself.. you can learn from your mistakes. keep your head up, it'll be okay." ... so simple, you know? just don't let it phase you... the whole carpe diem mantra of life. oh, how I wish I could fully embrace it and really, fully live it out but it's so hard for me to not dwell on mistakes I've made. the time I've spent doing the WRONG thing. the things I've put so much effort into with nothing in return. especially when you want something to work out so much. It's the inevitable tho, mistakes will happen. Once I wrote an essay on this word.. I tried to define it and at the end, I was pretty much trying to convince myself not to cry over spilt milk. everyday I tell myself over and over againt that I won't think about what's already happened but my mind takes a grip on the negative and just won't let go. the hold it has on my errors is stronger than anything else I've felt. a constant reminder of being not enough..

why can't there be a "back" button or a "refresh" button for life? or maybe. a "home" icon, bringing me back to when things were okay. where I didn't care if I completely word-vomited, if I got a couple points marked off my papers, or if I didn't take that last shot. scractch that. that's how i've alwys been, and sadly I don't think it's gonna change. a mistake on my part? probably. good thing I'm used to it... this isn't a way for me to pity myself. it's a lightweight epiphany..

Congratulations Arika, you've come to a huge realization.

before you make the biggest mistake of your life, just give me the chance to get it right

2009-05-31T23:52:00.000-07:00

I found a method of madness of confessions of our hope to steer away from the travesties of hanging from your rope. this is a milestone of thoughts in which will make me stronger I am not me, nor you can call me any longer.

I need to sit in solitude and analyze the verdict. versions of your settlement and your beauty without virgin. I've opened my eyes and shut out my ears and forgotten about his movie. finding movie clips and silhouettes and everything that runs through me.

I wore a mask for you
because these people deny the truth
I've been running around in circles because my brain denies to choose

- cantfindavillain // final curtain

bay area state of mind.

2009-05-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

"progress comes from the intelligent use of experience."

Peace of mind is the greatest thing one could possess; without it, everything around you will fail because your mind is the central location for all of your thoughts and actions. I pray for peace everyday i wake up.. I pray for motivation, for inspiration.. that I am able to bless someone the same way I've been blessed. I've always wanted to see everyone else become better. in the process of finding out how pitiful that logic was, I've been able to focus that energy on battering myself. things really do fall in place, and so cliche.. but things really do happen for a reason. if you aren't in a positive situation or around positive people - remove yourself from it because the dead end you are heading to will be a long, painful road... and we all know misery loves company.

even kanye said, people in your life are seasons and anything that happen is for a reason.

cheers to a new life, a new mindset, and a better me.
thank you, bay area. thank you for always being there.

Got that new I'm a single girl swag, got me with my girls and we're singin' it

2009-05-18T01:51:00.000-07:00

*%$#

can't believe I spent the last 4 thursdays @ Shark Club... nevertheless, i had lots of fun with these lovely ladies =) ohh you crazies.

as I stated in my previous post, I gave up on AIM and cut back on the time I spend reading about other people's lives (aka stalking) on facebook in order to "live life to the fullest" by physically engaging in it. although it has only been a couple days, I can honestly say that I now have found my life a little more fulfilling than before...

there's no designated age for not knowing anything.. we're all kinda forced to sit back contently and put up a guard til we find out. I'm assuming that's why everyone seems so unhappy and unopen. I mean, what are the odds of finding someone who willing puts their guards down? people seem more comfortable hidden behind their pseudo joy and keeping their shells intact. I understand it, but it's so .. plain jane. ever notice how dull it is seeing people isolate themselves in their comfort zones all the time..?

you don't know where you're going, but why not live a little?

“ We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."

this sounds familiar...

2009-05-15T14:39:00.001-07:00

"Like, we're only friends but I feel so lonely
And its kinda like fishing,
I bait the hook then wait until a coy swims in my vision
And time keeps on ticking...
So long now this boat I'm in feels like my prison
Cause I wanna set sail and see shit
But secretly the thought of me and you makes you sea sick
But that don't mean you don't like me,
you just don't LIKE ME like me
Now I might be bitter but shit"

new outlook.

2009-05-10T18:58:00.001-07:00

"live your life, engage in it, instead of reading about other people's lives on facebook for hours." - Prof. Bach.

I'm glad I have met one of those truly inspirational professors during my time here at UCI.

Goodbye, AIM. I know I can't give up facebook completely.. but I'll try to limit the time I spend on it. Contact me via phone, text, knocking on my door, whatever. Keep checking my blog cuz I'll be updating =)

better days are on its way.

2009-05-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

(breathtaking)

it's been a rough ride and I'm still flowing down a rocky river but I gotta keep reminding myself that nothing is permanent. through everything that has happened in the past few days... I gotta keep telling myself that better day is coming.

a wise man (tupac) once said, "life goes on" and although it could be harsh, that's just the truth. a flower that grows in the ghetto know more about survival than the one with fresh petals. and obviously all of you know that I don't live in the ghetto but crucial measures are crucial measures regardless of your locations.

i'm taking my baby steps, trying to rid the fear in every stride. I have to, cause it takes way more strength to turn back. ughhh I'm tired =(

someone told me a better day is coming. plus, a wise man (tupac) once said, "that's just the way it is.. awwww yeah"

oh, and happy mother's day to hands down, the BESTEST mother in the world. words cannot describe how amazing my mother is and how much I appreciate everything she does for me.

and lastly, check out my current fav jam :)

Don Diablo ft. Bizzey - Music is my Life
by Winsen0

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." -- Winnie the Pooh . word..

late night cram sesh.

2009-05-05T02:14:00.000-07:00

To make the mundane magnificent.
To see the world through my eyes cause I see it like none other.

I'm finding grace within myself.

"the next adventure, remains a mystery
then i paint a picture to stain your memory
as i secure my place in history
in your heart i stay, come visit me"

these words are sort of hard to swallow

2009-04-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

from the beginning, there was an unreal connection between us - nothing I had ever experienced in other relationships. we were both tuned in to one another, always seeming to know what was off before we even had a chance to talk about it. I know this connection probably won't ever turn off, but it'll most likely just dim itself.... no, more like... I'll have to dim the lights for now 'cause the timing just ain't right for us and only time will tell..

@ the happiest place on earth.

stressed out (remix)

2009-04-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

court at 7am 2m
2 midterms
1 philo paper
2 poli sci books
econ homework

!!!!!!!!!!

gotta say buh-bye to my happy-go-lucky lifestyle & say herroo to the new and improved arika as a hermit crab library pimpin' it 24/7. I'm also hiring study buddies / tutors. kthx ;)

I think I may have found my future husband.

2009-04-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

*clears throat*

let me introduce you to my future husband, Aubrey Graham, aka DRAKE!

watch out kanye! this guy might just be the next big thing....

seriously.. this song has been on repeat since last week & its play count has now reached 100.. amazing.

one of them nights

2009-04-14T03:38:00.000-07:00

do you want to know the key to my heart?

^o^

o_o

that day, was a VERY good day....

current cravings:

..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

big city bright lights

2009-04-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

I miss my home, yokohama.

it's good to just wallow when intended. we people do not need to cover it up and show a steady heart, a heart feels more than such. you can not bury something and hope that it will disappear one day. but that, in such case, will decay and rust, thus infecting any source of life. yet there is a difference between reacting and overreacting. knowing how far to take things is a fine line to cross. by that point, we all just hope that things just turn out better. if it doesn't go that way, we know that after such disaster, the better will be great.

PEACE.

let's face it.

2009-04-06T01:37:00.000-07:00

all the good things must come to an end.
feeling just a lil empty, but life must go on.

"any moment you blink, might be another golden moment extinct." - mr.j.medeiros

burnin' bridges

2009-04-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

I know what it is.

I need time to recuperate on my own. the keywords being "on my own" but it sounds a lot better than it feels. as far as the eyes can see, "on my own" doesn't seem so drastic. but since when did eye sight ever matter to the blind? yea yea yea yea did I totally lose you here?

But I guess a burned bridge is better than a gap that was never filled.

Life is a puzzle and I need to put my shit together. for most things, you can't wait for things to fall into place, you have to place your own pieces in position. now go create your own pictures, and quit burning my bridges.

ummm time to go into hidings now. good bye world....

If the sun don't shine..

2009-03-31T12:19:00.000-07:00

"If the sun don't shine, I'ma still be at my prime knowin' you was at my side and I'm sayin', I'll probably never claim sky city and never ask you to ride with me. And if the sun don't shine, I know you'll always have my spine and cuz of that I always be fine. And if the sun don't shizzle, I'll still catch a little bit of drizzle for the fact that it's love. it's like as long as there's you, I got love and I'm good...."

simply amazing.

SunnyCalifornia pt.1

2009-03-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

"Welcome to SunnyCalifornia, this is the time of my life."

[lawrence plaza ft. pak-a-ling the IRON chef!]

met up at the lawrence (AKA korean) plaza for an early lunch.

with less than $10, you get this huge bowl of bibimbab. the best thing about this place is that there are so many selection of korean food & the quality is pretty damn good. andd you do not have to pay for tip, nor clean up afterwards. that excited litto chef parkaa.

only bad thing is that it may take you awhile for you to decide what to order.. took me and parker about 30-40 min.

hit up paris baguette after to check out more food. nomnomnom. parker decided to be generous and bought 2 yummy (-looking?) cakes for his little sister who I miss very much. what a happy camper.

@ galleria. milkis. made me giggle. i don't quite know why.

mmm maybe I should start a collection...

!!! $2 box of choco pie !!! = def purchased.

every damn burger.... say whaa.

then I hopped on the caltrain afterwards for some SF adventure with the irvine peeps..

[a beautiful day in China Town.]

never walk into a chinese market expecting to smell roses and lavenders. imagine gathering all the nasty smelling things and mixing it up altogether in a food processor - because that's what you'll be smelling.

regardless... it was a beautiful day in China Town.

LOL Moments @ China Town

ok.. I guess I get your point?

should've bought it.. totally should've..

the kite shop!

one of the best sesame balls I've ever had in my life.

at the ghettoest bakery ever.. notice the random newspaper usages around the store..

brought the whole meaning to the word recycle.

$1.89

$0.99. I love China Town.

since we had a lot more time to kill, we ventured out to Little Italy.

witnessed some books flying in the middle of little italy... then..

words fell out! ART IS EVIL!!

the adventure continues.. but I must call it a night.
check back in a day or two for more pictures !

bay makes me fat & ugly.

2009-03-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

check it check it.
blue floral tank
white cardigan
white ESKIMO jacket (who wears them?)
red sweatpants
GREEN socks with a monkey.

but the good thing about the bay is that (1) no one gives a fcuk, (2) people will accept you for who you are, not what you look like, and (3) fashion police does not exist here.

enough of that, I know y'all waiting to see some wonderful pics of the delicious food I consume everyday so here it is =) day THREE!

lunch at Saizo (sunnyvale). fail picture, by the way.

you ain't cute.

my salad :) salad, because I ate about 2 hours before this.

anago (eel) tempura bowl. weird choice of meal by a weird person.

my mum ordered hamburg bowl things = hella BOMB.

a typical day in the east side san jose...

I WOULD be at tully out of anywhere in the bay..

pedobear.

cars cars cars

one day the door's gonna hit the curB. no joke.

guess what this picture is of!

new stickshift. cool at first, but super uncomfortable & awkward height = fail.

palm trees in the bay always look so awkward & far apart....

got home & my mother welcomed us with some poop balls.

mMmm yummy poop. jaykay. it's those red bean stuffff. yum!

I had plans to go get some sushi with friends that night.. but had to snap a couple shots of the delicious looking meal that my mommy was cooking that night.. this is why I never wanna go out to eat cuz her cooking > iron chef, and everything else.

sooo sad I missed out on eating this that night *BIGGG sad face*

but shiit.. sushi def made me all :) again

MOAR SUSHI!

sarah likes blurry pictures over nice sharp pictures :P

it's been SO long since all three of us have been reunited.. :)

high school loves! except i got owned by the flash -____-

ended the night with a cup full of (watered-down) yogurt.
i must admit.. irvine yogurtland > cupertino yogurland anyday of the week!

the end! =) more bayventures tomorrow. yeeyee.

DAY UNO. in the bay

2009-03-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

For the next 7 days I'll be spending in the bay, this is gonna turn into a photo-blog of a fatass :) Be excited for some visual food-gasm. Here are some pictures from the day one!

this is what was waiting for me in front of my apartment :)
great way to start the break in the bay, isn't it?

for those who haven't seen it.. this is how my phone looked like for the past 2 weeks or so.. it's totally looking like a wall-e after i lost the entire top cover at a club.. i'm mos def blaming on the al-al-al-al-alcohol for this. TIME FOR A NEW PHONE!

started off my day with traditional jap breakfast with salmonn. yee

& headed to the city for some yum craab =)

GG bridge? kinda made me giggle.

this Vietnamese-American fusion restaurant is SO popular with japanese customers that they have a menu in japanese :O my parentals were quite happy about that

nice decor

awk sibling picture.

TIME FOR FOOOODD!!

... what we traveled all the way to sf for ...

GARLIC CRAB!

GARLIC NOODLE (the BEST i've EVER had)

*about 1 hour of silently devouring these garlic yuminess*

sorry crabbiee. y0u were finger-lickin' good..

you too.

my brother is proskieesss

creme brule :)

baked alaska. the best i've had :)

hehehehe :) we cute. best dining experience in awhile..

I really wanted to venture out in the city & attempt to take more "artsy" pictures except my brother really wanted to go home to watch the WBC game so we headed back. OH YEAH. GO TEAM JAPAN! we will own your butt, korea =)

on the way home, we stopped by the orchard in los altos to buy some fruits to refresh our garlicy mouth.

i love this place cuz you can try all the fruits that are sold before you decide to buy it! freshness guaranteed!

never knew there were so many kinds of apples.. fuji all the way =)

ended up buying this orange!

the end!

I think I'm really bad at making photoblog interesting.. har har. today, i'm hoping to go to DMV to get my license cuz I lost it in irvine :( not being able to drive sucks balls. goodbye.

bay area, I'm finally home.

2009-03-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

oh cupertino, I've missed you!

"There's so much love to be lost & found."

untitled

2009-03-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

never let yourself complacently settle for anything less than sheer decency. if you feel you're nowhere-bound, make it or break it. and if you feel there's any potential for growth, quit letting negative thinking cloud your mind, put all that aside and wait patiently. never let loneliness be the reason why you're acting up and never say never or forever or "maybe in the future" because putting hope in a lost cause is damaging

however in telling you this, I'd be a hypocrite.

"don't make what you want second to what's easy" would mean so much more if you could actually figure out what you want and what's easy. that shit could be easily confused, and that quote never gets old.

I'm thinking this one out thoroughly, or at least trying. but in the meantime, I'm just goin' to continue cruising. bop bop bop.

<3 style="font-weight: bold;">be alright (nicolay mix) - foreign exchange

having everything that i want yo, life is an accumulation of learning what you don't know

2009-03-18T05:13:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Arika & I brush my teeth and take off my contact lens at student center at 5am in the morning =) oh, and this morning, I fell asleep on a book and woke up with writings all over my cheeks.

finals tomorrow.. am I fucking up again? am I gonna be ok this time?

there's something about the phrase "it's going to be okay" that my mind refuses to digest. the ambiguity behind it makes me question certain things, and it leaves me choking. I've sailed many ships in these waters, I've reached different levels of understanding (sometimes, misunderstanding) and now I'm lost at sea.

the phrase is no life-saving byword and I really can't tell you where it has me at. cause seeriously, I'm still asking myself: what happens after I walk the plank? I'll either b loosely floating just above the surface, or drowning myself in fabricated ideas. there's a huge difference, but i get no guarantees.

& i heard em say, nothin'g ever promised tomorrow today
hah, thanks for the heads up kanye, I know.. I'm a little late.

I'll leave u all with an amazing remix by cradle orchestra.
if you don't like it... don't talk to me

like you grow out of clothes, you grow out of people

2009-03-15T12:32:00.001-07:00

it's hard (the hardest) and it's sad (the saddest) and it puts everybody in awkward positions, but sometimes you just gotta give up your favorite sweater and sew yourself a new one. just cause it looked good on you don't mean it still fits.

positivity can backfire and that's where I'm at. I feel like life sat me down on the very computer chair I'm sitting on right now, and spun me around fast... so fast that blood isn't circulating to my head anymore, not a single once.. I feel so dizzy.. just hella dizzy.

I'm rushing my recuperation, is this even healthy? it's about time I've sewn myself a new sweater.. the one that fits... cause I don't like the stench or your cigarettes sticking to my fibers.

oh adderall.. look what you've done to me.

only video I could find of my fav jam.. disregard the audi :)

When I close my eyes..

2009-03-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

HOME (sweetass home) is what I see

shinjuku

a cafe lounge in tokyo.. my dream date. just me & the city lights..

now serving alcoholic beverages! *dies*

when I was little, my parents used to always make fun of me saying that i look like the geisha looking creepy mask on the right.

a giant spider in japan? negative - it's a sculpture in roppongi hills called maman. the hidden message of this sculpture remains unknown...

photo credit goes to ( Takeyoshi )

can't get enough? watch me!

it's really crazy how much the music compliments the scenery of japan.. as shing02 would say, it's funny how the music put times in perspective wherever you are. as dorky as it may sound, sometimes I hear japan through music.

before I sign out.. I'll leave you with somethin' ill for your mind =)

Do you know what my vision is?
That everybody (soul) realizes that division is
Capable of having positive outcomes
if you are the fraction with a strong denominator
We are the nominators of equality,
no matter what denomination, race, creed or political belief
Communication is the critical relief for solving situations suffering from separation
Millions lost in dominions, go back to the sovereign land for reunion
The fact is we are one despite unique opinions
When you discover the roots and peel skins like an onion
The Most High, all praises (love) to the sky perpendicular
Force connect to express the molecular resonance with the universal creative spectacular!

Daily trivial persuit of truth through fruit loops inifinite
Knowledge is the definite key to the path to defeat past deficits
Positive benefits magnificent!

mad respect.

it don't stop when you reach the top.

2009-03-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

one of my fav track by dj deckstream.

So today, I had the best dining experience of my life. I threw a 'tokyo night of mayhem" party with my fellow japanese people last Friday (it was BANGING by the way.. I managed to get everyone at the party shiitfaced by walking around the party with 2 handles in my hand) and we decided to celebrate our success at this Japanese BBQ restaurant called Tsuruhashi in Fountain Valley...

good friends + kobe beef + pitcher of sapporo = good vibess.

we all agreed that it was better than sex, no joke.
you must all check this out when you're in the area.

tsuruhashi - fountain valley
4.5 stars with 105 reviews. guaranteed foodgasm =)

now back to studying... I'm just so content that I feel like I'm gonna enjoy studying tonight.. peace world.

Constance Campaign

2009-03-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

hip hop has opened my eyes to so many things...

I gotta give props to mr.j.medeiros for using his talent to illuminate such important issue.. def opened my eyes to human trafficking.

this is gonna be a good project.

there's a joy in our division

2009-03-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

I hold this inexplicable emotion that results in my speechlessness and emotional bipolarity. I am not well mentally but more importantly emotionally.

I was confused by the vague illusions. I was surprised by an unexpected incident. I was doubting myself numerous times. I went the wrong way, I said incorrect directions.

What is the underlying action that has caused me to suffer silently in weather that is cold and gloomy and rain-filled. I have nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, and nothing left for me to begin and/or complete.

Am I missing something?

eargasmic heaven on height street

2009-02-25T10:47:00.001-08:00

Amoeba Music might just be one of the many reasons why I am a die-hard San Francisco fan. Ever since I 'accidentally' discovered this place over the past winter break.. this is all I could think about and dream about .. It is probably, hands down, the best independent record store in California and it's exactly what I imagine the heaven to be like....

I'd kill myself right now for this.

(i just kinda creamed my pants)

random thought - romantic feelings ruins friendships. many baby-friendships which could've developed into something very meaningful have been ruined in the recent past because of stupid thing called feelings.. i wish we didn't have feelings : (

random thought 2 - I WANT THIS SHIPPED NOW ALREADY! stupid Amazon.

sennheiser eh-150 :)
same headphones as the ones @ amoeba. sexgasm in mah ear!

Marry Me, please?

2009-02-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

this guy has got me CRAZY.

yes, the night before midterm.. I LOVE YOUTUBE =)

forever became real, but even realer with you.

2009-02-23T11:15:00.000-08:00

♫ The Light '08 - Common ft. Bilal
"I know your heart had been broken by a love that pass, & when you're not lookin', that's what love can grab you sometimes we gotta ask, are we moving too fast? ain't no limit to a love that's given from above."

Oh common.. he always gets me.

-------------------------------------

Beta Royal - took about 60 pictures. only about 5 decent ones.

mm.. going out ain't the same anymore..
am I getting old..... IM NOT EVEN 21 YET!!!!

I Am

2009-02-21T16:51:00.000-08:00

Indecisive.
Unsure.
Confused.
Tired.
Incapable.
Fearful.
Nervous.
Incompetent

but despite all that...
I.am.READY.

to trust, to understand, to appreciate,
to let my guards down,
to let myself become vulnerable again..

I am ready to....... perhaps.... love???

my inner pikachu

2009-02-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

Today @ Starbucks...

They wrote my name as PIKA instead of Arika.. Yeah I'm Japanese and all but do I resemble Pikachu that much? Or am I just so fobby that I can't even pronounce my name correctly?

FML.

no sense of direction

2009-02-19T10:15:00.000-08:00

she walks away; far, far away
says that this is not what you want
so you should just go.

she talks as if it's the truth that speaks
the truth that sounds like its disguised as a lie
but holds firm as if truth

she asks, what is it that you feel?
is this what you truly want?
and I don't know who she seeks the answer from

she says you've been tired for so long
so you should rest.
says that the day light is done and night has come
head off to sleep, and dream, sweet dreams

once you wake up, she continues on
you'll approach a new day
my words will change
words that repeat the same message
or to a new world all on it's own

but whatever it is, my voice is loud and clear.

--------

lately i feel like i'm losing a sense of direction. is this really where i need to be? is this really what i want? do i even belong here? what the hell am i doing with my life? and these questions won't be answered for quite awhile..

& i'm just so sick of... college. socal. oc. afhiowhifjioaheroi someone please get me out of this place

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

It's more than consumer conspiracy or THE day to love. In all actuality, everyday should be a valentines day, or should be a day to make a New Year resolution, or to appreciate this person or that.forget the candy or the card companies, forget all of that. If people think that Valentine's day is the day to say "Today, I'm really going to appreciate my love for my girlfriend or boyfriend," then they should really look at what they do in their relationships. Try Valentine's day everyday..maybe relationships can mean a lot more :)

What I would like people to understand that you might not have the idea that you are very lucky - lucky to experience in the past or the present, a love in life that is very important. there are times when we don't truly fathom how a relationship is and how effective it is for one another. People cheat, mistrust, become jealous, and eventually get fed up of the relationship. In all essence, it just doesn't work out. They forget that as much as they are consumed by the negative outcome of what could have been a good lasting relationship, there is another person at the other side of the bridge who feels that they should have the respect any other person should deserve. We are consumed by our own endeavors, selfishness, wants, etc. that we just want to get on with our own lives and end it at that. In turn, when we are the ones being put into these circumstances, we want nothing, but to get that respect.. right? At the end of the day, we only hope that there is a decency that others have inside of them to do what is necessary. But I digress. Remember that when you look at the person in his/her eyes, that at the moment, everything is perfect.

<3

foot prints in the sand have been left there for a while
the waves weren't strong enough to shift it out

I want to be one of a kind

2009-02-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

vendor fair this week on campus = broke + fat arika from over consumption of kettle corn and useless spendings on useless things..

when the rain dries up, we only get closer

2009-02-07T11:24:00.001-08:00

even though the rain is gone.. my mind is still clouded.

"Sometimes, you just have to put a period on something that has to end, and not just settle on a comma. Why? Cuz time will come, you'll realize that it's nicer to see a complete sentence rather than seeing a phrase that's completely hanging and doesn't even make any sense." w0rd

reverse&drive. another stupid move. but I came out clean.

Rain - Elemnop

fly away with the night of day

2009-02-05T03:52:00.000-08:00

cradle orchestra gives me chills.. in a good way of course.

I've been recently lost in emotions and it's been a little too complex. it's become extremely frustrating to figure everything out, but then I face back wondering if it's even necessary at all. So now I just find it hard to come to a conclusion. Should a conclusion even be reached at all? It makes no sense to cry. It makes no sense to feel. no sense at all.

Sometimes I lack that common sense. I'm drowned in my metaphorical ways that stating the obvious just flies right past me. I know common sense is valuable, not question about that. I guess I put so much into common sense, the definition of it all disappears and turns into something else.

if I could paint a picture of exactly how the world was to me.. the sky would be clear - no clouds could shed a tear, and the moon man would always have a smile. but if i could destroy faith, the canvas would be black....//

696 people agree my life is fucked up

2009-01-31T16:57:00.000-08:00

in case you can't see, I wrote..

"Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML."

Currently, 696 people agree that my life is fucked up, while 169 people think that I deserved that one. Oh, how I love this site, makes procrastination so much easier.

GODDAYUM! I just said i won't blog til tuesday... FML.

sky's jigsaw puzzle

2009-01-31T13:37:00.003-08:00

Usually when you step back from something, and I mean far back, you can see the whole picture. What you thought wasn't there, what sticks out against everything else, what makes things click, tick, and run. For some reason, stepping back, I felt I was about to fall back. Everything seemed like a jigsaw puzzle.. even the sky, and the parts just didn't fit right. The picture wasn't giving me the view that I thought I was going to get. Instead, I still felt like everything was not right. I felt like, feel like, things are not going well because of me. It's extremely frustrating when it just doesn't click, when it all just doesn't feel right. Even the good advice doesn't seem to work at all. The worst advice probable wouldn't even matter. Nothing seems like it's going to get better. It all just seems too wrong, and I'm really tired of trying to figure it out.

this must be the pre-midterm effect.. I feel like my head is going to explode. All the cramming, all the information, journals, projects, essays, all ofit is a little too much to take. I don't want to read anymore, write, think, be creative, or anything. I just want to sleep and be a bum and finish my japanese drama theories I've been meaning to complete. This does, although, give me an excuse for me to stay home on a Friday night (and not be called a loser) while everyone's out partying. So I guess it's okay...

here are some STOLEN pictures of thursday night.
The theme was GREEK (GLAMOUR) GODDESS except I ended up looking like a jungle lady except not as sexy because... shit I never follow the theme anyways.

i know i know, we cute.

my favorite thing to do while on facebook is to find ugly people in the background doing ugly things and making them be the stars of the picture =) here's some from that night.

my crotch must've been icthing.. and i wanted some tequilla shot.

should've warned her not to run through the aisle on the bus... cuz you're gonna get your tummy squished multiple times.

the end.

I'm going to try not to blog for awhile.. at least until tuesday when my first midterm is over. please feel free to send me music because i'm in a dire need for some new study jam & also a study buddy. thank you & everyone, good luck on your midterms.

too much funky shit inside my brain

2009-01-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

please, listen to this song. it.is.absolutely.beautiful.

--------------------
a part of me still wants to run
run free from any chain and knowledge of now
to run and deny life as I know

I want to run to see how far I can go
before I realize that I miss home
to see what I had, and all of it had been there all along

I want to know the life I have, even though I truly do know it

I want to run from you,
that the person I see is not the person I want to stay close to
the vision in front of me is not a vision to see
So I want to run

Not for something.

I don't know why my legs move
and why my mind commands it so
but it does, and I can not stop.
my mind commands my legs to move, and my heart to race
but in this time and space, I stay still but visually escape..

been watching too many poetry jams on youtube.

time for a change

2009-01-27T22:47:00.001-08:00

This year, I decided to declare a double major in international studies along with business economics. I know shit's gonna be tough but hey, at least I get to study about things that I really care about.

So what image opened YOUR eyes to human rights?

anywhere but here

2009-01-25T14:07:00.001-08:00

forget the he say, she say, they say, I heard...

Take me back to the bay where people take me for who I really am, and not for what others assume of me.

"It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine, but I'm tired of being trapped by your thunderstorm."

Now time to put on that arika smile & get on with my life. Goodbye.

{ firm or soft }

2009-01-20T22:25:00.001-08:00

Ever since the day I was born, I have only been fed soft tofu by my loving mother, so my body naturally developed this odd tendency to reject anything that's 'firm'. So when I found out that I accidentally bought 3 large packs of FIRM tofu from Costco, I was pretty devastated & vowed to never lay my hand on it. (ok, a lil exaggerated here)

But last night, I was dying of extreme hunger and unluckily, I had absolutely nothing to eat BUT firm tofu.. Yes, I was given the choice to either suffer a slow and painful death from starvation, or to eat the tofu and stay alive. When given this ultimate choice, I suddenly had a change of heart and decided to give this bad boy a try! And guess what.... I ENDED UP LOVING IT!

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is "kuwazu girai shinai," which means "to dislike without tasting," because you might be missing out on something that might just be the most food-gasmic thing ever ;P I love you tofu, firm or soft baby!

sense of sight.

2009-01-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes one of the hardest things of all is seeing things as they really are. Could have been's, should have been's, ought to be's, can't believe it isn'ts --- all these clouds our vision of the world around us. But seeing through these various illusions is the first step toward accepting things as they are, and it may just be the most difficult... I dunno.. in my head it all makes sense, but they're most definitely easier said than done..

On a brighter note, weather here in socal has been absolutely amazing. I never thought I'd ever live to see myself bust out my summer dresses in the middle of January, but I ain't complaining.. just someone take me to the beach & I'll be all smiles =)

here are the pictures from another epic night;
70's THEMED STUDIO 54 PARTY!

witnessed plenty of puke-age and underage drinking - pretty shitty night. but hey, seems like someone got a lil somethin' somethin' on the way to the venue (see above picture)

<3 keke palmer. nightie night.

s0ul'd out to the maximum

2009-01-13T18:12:00.000-08:00

I can take a NO as graciously as I can take a YES, but a MAYBE might just kill me..

longest post ever

2009-01-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

Been only a week since I left the bay, yet it feels like it's been forever... I'm still itching for the bay breeze & all the great things I had to leave behind in the bay & I guess looking at my pictures from the break doesn't really help me get accustomed to living this life in the fast lane..

so the real "fun" started when I got my 21+ id! my first night bar hopping experience @ Santana Row.

my first tokyo tea

hi creepers in the background

definitely splurged on lots of good eats. (sucks to be a fatass = no $$$)

mmmmm. can I say food-gasmic?

I also had countless adventures in the city. Stumbled upon so many gems in unlikely places which made me love the city ever than before. Also bought a "I <3 SF" shirt for 2 dollars in chinatown, and it's probably the best purchase I've ever made during this break.

doesn't this picture go perfectly together with the song Street Light? I wouldn't have stumbled upon this place if it weren't for us getting lost in the parking lot and jumping up and down on the high-speed elevators. gotta love the spontaneity.

other random memories of the break;

epic fail photo shoot on san mateo bridge

mmm.. can't get enough of them street lights ;)

i'm so hood.

walking back to my apartment at 6am in the morning.. the entire alley was covered in colorful leaves. felt like I was in a whole new worldd *lalala*

this is the very last thing I ate before I left for school. seafood fried rice at a 24hour chinese restaurant in milpitas.

& this nigerian right here spent the entire break diggin holes in Vietnam. I guess I'll forgive you cuz you brought me back doraemon slippers lol.

-------------
whenever I hear the song street lights, I think of my winter break, so I guess it's best to conclude that street light was the theme song for my wonderful break spent in the brEEzy bay area.

beep beep beep.

2009-01-10T15:48:00.000-08:00

It feels like I have been losing control of things in my life. Not the chaotic loss of control, nor is it the absence of identity that I‘m trying hard to find. I know myself, and I know myself well. I feel like there is something missing. A part of my life that seems so close to me, yet so distant from my grasp. For my current engagements of my life, I’m trying to find my way to get it all back. There’s simple distractions that I’m allowing myself to drown into. I don’t blame others nor am I going to allow to blame myself for these distractions. I love the life that I misdirect myself into. I do however feel like the changes are taking me farther away from where I know, I need to be, wherever that is.

Maybe all I need is a quick ramen fix. yeah, that's probably it. nomnomnom.

fly love song ft. pase rock

2009-01-08T00:47:00.000-08:00

feelings like this should not be released in public.

I'll leave you all with something to ponder about;

"In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind. It's the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are. It's the legroom for all the lies you'll tell yourself in the future."

Old to the New

2009-01-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

2009 = A New Me

What I was: an indecisive, selfish child prone to have been insensitive at some points of my life; cared too much about what others thought of me; unprioritized; thought I knew everything about everything and that my way was the right way; lazy.

What I want to achieve to be: one who truly emphasizes; stands on my own ground and have a solid foundation; polite even if it's easier to be rude; calm and collected; stick to my priorities; realize and accept the person that I am.

Cheers to 2009, and hello to Southern California once again.. It's a day2 in the (not-so)ILLvine & I already want to start a countdown til the next time I can be back in the bay. Is this normal?

Doraemon, please take me back to the Bay where my <3 still resides with your magic door, I would give anything to breathe and feel the bay breeze once again... (I will be doing an update on the break soon)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T14:07:00.001-08:00

Never wanted to go back to Christmas in the Park in San Jose, but thanks to this ho, I went again this year. I hope everyone a merry merry christmas =) I'll update later.

the greatest irony of love.

2008-12-22T04:54:00.000-08:00

"The greatest irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life. Sometimes, you think you're already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again. For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much they love that person. Some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else. Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love, but love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little. As we all know, the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love, but to only discover that for them, we are just for passing time while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

So here's a piece of advice; let go when you're hurting too much, give up when love isn't enough, and move on when things are not like before. For sure there is someone out there who will love you even more."

--------------

(REMIX'd)

dj arikidiki in the housee.

Starting a relationship can be simple, keeping it and making it last rarely happens. At first it's fresh and exciting; you can imagine the possibilities. But then less words are spoken and those possibilities are minimized. It's not your fault nor is it him/hers. It depends on how you feel about each other everyday. Losing feelings little by little will seperate you in no time, and making each conversation interesting can be easy if the feelings are still there. Compliments and nice gestures will give him/her second thoughts. Taking chances and risks always takes it to the next level. Hesitation and fear can doom you from the start. Less doubts and concerns, more hopes and dreams. If you don't see it going anywhere, do both you and him/her a favor and end it.

"memories made in the coldest winter"

2008-12-19T01:12:00.000-08:00

Brrr.. Is it just me or is this winter insanely cold in the bay this year? As much as I want the sun to come out more so I can stop having to look like a roll of toilet paper whenever I go out, I still enjoy it.. this coldness is what makes winter winter afterall.

The break has been good so far - lots of chilling and hanging out, not to mention the occasional fine-dining and holiday shopping sprees which completely left me with no money to spare. I just wished I had more $$$ so I could do more hoodrat stuff, you know, like Latarian Milton! (lol)Regardless, I'm enjoying this much needed break to the fullest & I'm happy to be home! I know you missed me too, Cupertino.

Soooo, it seems that I'll be spending a very lonely X'mas this year & I'm trying to suck it up, be a grownup (wo)man, and live through the holiday like a superwoman! Ugh, wish me luck.

- arika quesadilla <3

P.S. I miss you already.. why did you have to leave?

ill-literacy

2008-12-07T18:52:00.000-08:00

For awhile, I've been obsessing over this visionary group called the "ill-literacy."

This collective group of poets, emcees, and spoken word artists all come together for one purpose; instead of being prisoners of their words, they all have something to say to the world and about the world. but their biggest mission is not for people to just listen to them, but for them to want to listen.

This group which has been pushing spoken word as an art form to its limits, has swept from stage to stage, and has been capturing the attention of our generation today.. they are an inspiring group of fresh individuals that maybe, just maybe, become more hyped than "def poetry jam."

who knows, right?

But this group, with their lyrical verses and innovative theatrics, have put together a show, a spoken word show, a hiphop theater, a chance for people that have something to say.. to say it.

& I'm sure you'll agree with me, that everything that they have to say, is true.

checkcheckcheckcheckitout! cuz finals suck.

2008-11-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

On Heavy Rotation -
You Are [featuring John Legend] - Estelle

What happens to the person we left behind.. the person that we never would have thought would leave, especially when that person was the greatest person we have come across. They changed lives, made life livable, made life worth it. What is it that the now has brought in that changed the relationship with this person? It's not about the forgiveness that we should say, or the white flag -- it's about the open heart that we should characterize in ourselves to allow that person back.

And no, this is not about an actual person, but the me I left behind...

---*

on a brighter note;

I'm so damn content to be back home in the bay! oh how i've missed you, (gay)pertino.. even though you're extremely boring sometimes, you somehow keep me sane. I'm thankful for that.